Most often our love is conditional – based upon whether our loved ones behave the way we want them to. Whether this is supporting us in our own endeavours or being someone we think they should be. Perhaps your child is taking their GCSE exams over the next couple of months or your partner still hasn’t got round to mowing the lawn… We can all feel resentful that our ‘vision’ of how things should be is not shared by those close to us.
This meditation is helpful to bring us back to recognising the qualities and differences that our family and loved ones bring into our lives.
Sit in your usual meditation space in a comfortable position. Begin by watching the breath – count the breaths…. I am breathing in 1, I am breathing out 1, up to 10.
Bring into your mind your loved one. List the conditions you have that limit your love for them. Note how these conditions, while meant with the best intentions, constrict your heart. Note how this doesn’t sound like love – more like a demand.
Visualise now giving your loved one complete freedom to be and do what they want. Does this scare you? Bring to mind all the lovely qualities that delight you about your loved one. They are fantastic really. Bring to mind something that they have shown you that you would never have discovered on your own.
Feel your heart expand as you accept them regardless of what they do or don’t do. Have a sense that it will be alright in the end. Celebrate for a moment the sheer fact that they are different, see things differently and what a complimentary partnership you make. Stay with these thoughts for a few moments.
Go back now to noticing your breath for a few moments and then end the meditation in your usual way.